InertiCorp: A Bureaucracy Simulator

"Synergy Through Excellence"

INTERNAL MEMO — CONFIDENTIAL

To: New CEO (You) From: Board of Directors Re: Orientation Materials & Expectations Management

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Congratulations on your appointment as Chief Executive Officer of InertiCorp Holdings, LLC. Your predecessor's departure was... abrupt, but the board is confident you will exceed their four-quarter tenure. The bar is not high.

This document contains everything you need to know about steering our beloved organization. Please initial each section to confirm you've read and misunderstood it.

Your Objective

Accumulate sufficient bonus compensation to trigger voluntary retirement before the board loses confidence and terminates your employment. This is not as easy as it sounds. Your predecessor thought it was easy. Your predecessor is now consulting.

The Inbox

All corporate activity flows through email. This is by design. If it's not in writing, it didn't happen. If it is in writing, Legal will handle it.

Your inbox will contain:

• Project Updates — Status reports from department heads explaining why things are behind schedule
• Crisis Notifications — Urgent matters requiring your immediate attention and eventual blame
• Board Directives — Quarterly profit targets that seem reasonable until you try to meet them
• Performance Reviews — The board's quarterly assessment of your continued employability

Project Cards

Your strategic toolkit consists of 77 initiatives across three categories:

Each project affects profit margins and organizational health. Choose wisely. Or don't. The board will blame you either way.

Organizational Metrics

You must balance five competing priorities. The previous CEO balanced zero of them.

The meters are interconnected in ways that will seem arbitrary until you understand them, and then they'll seem deliberately arbitrary.

The Board

The board has opinions about your performance. These opinions manifest as:

• Favorability — A number representing their collective faith in you (it decreases)
• Quarterly Directives — Profit targets that increase as their patience decreases
• Compensation Decisions — Bonuses when you succeed, clawbacks when you don't
• Employment Decisions — Self-explanatory

When favorability drops below acceptable levels, you will be invited to pursue other opportunities.

Crisis Management

30 crisis events may occur during your tenure. Each presents difficult choices:

• The ethical option (low reward, high morale)
• The profitable option (high reward, high evil score, probable consequences)
• The middle option (mediocre on all dimensions, satisfies no one)

Your responses will be documented for the inevitable post-mortem.

Difficulty Settings

The board's temperament depends on who's chairing:

Choose based on how much stress you enjoy.

AI-Powered Communications

InertiCorp has deployed a local language model to generate authentic corporate correspondence. All emails are written in the house style:

• Passive-aggressive status updates
• Strategic credit-taking and blame redistribution
• Buzzword-compliant messaging
• Appropriately panicked crisis communications

The AI knows exactly who is sending each email and maintains character consistency. It has been explicitly instructed never to break character or acknowledge that any of this is satirical. It's not satirical. This is how corporations work.

GPU acceleration is available for executives who value their time.

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Technical Specifications

For the IT department's records:

• Platform: Godot 4.5.1 (C#/.NET 8.0)
• Architecture: Deterministic simulation core, UI layer, 440 unit tests
• LLM Integration: LLamaSharp 0.25.0, CUDA 12 supported
• Recommended Models: Phi-3 Mini (3.8B), Qwen2 (1.5B), TinyLlama (1.1B)

# Build (requires .NET 8 SDK)
dotnet build

# Run tests
dotnet test

# Verify nothing is broken before blaming someone else
dotnet test --filter "BalanceTests"

GPU Configuration

For CUDA acceleration, place the following in src/InertiCorp.Core/native/cuda12/:

• cublas64_12.dll
• cublasLt64_12.dll
• cudart64_12.dll

The system falls back to CPU inference if CUDA is unavailable. This is fine. Everything is fine.

Installation Options

Option A: Pre-Built Installer (Recommended for most executives)

Download the latest release from GitHub Releases. The installer is unsigned because code signing certificates cost money that could be spent on executive bonuses.

Option B: Build From Source (For the security-conscious or paranoid)

For executives whose threat model includes "unsigned binaries from the internet" — a reasonable concern that Legal neither confirms nor denies — we provide a PowerShell script that builds everything locally.

Prerequisites:

• .NET 8 SDK
• Godot 4.5.1 (the .NET/C# version, not standard)
• PowerShell 5.1+ (included with Windows 10/11)
• Coffee (optional but recommended)

Build Instructions:

# Clone the repository
git clone https://github.com/justinbroadbent/InertiCorp.git
cd InertiCorp

# Run the build script
.\scripts\Build-FromSource.ps1

# If Godot is installed elsewhere:
.\scripts\Build-FromSource.ps1 -GodotPath "D:\Games\Godot\godot.exe"

# For the reckless (skips tests):
.\scripts\Build-FromSource.ps1 -SkipTests

The script will:

1. Verify prerequisites (with appropriate passive-aggression)
2. Restore NuGet packages
3. Build the solution in Release configuration
4. Run the test suite (440 tests, all deterministic)
5. Export the game via Godot
6. Copy native CUDA libraries if present

Output appears in .\build\. You built it yourself. No trust required.

Note: The build script was written by an engineer who would rather be writing bash. The comments reflect this.

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Acknowledgments

See CLAUDE.md for the engineering guardrails that kept this project on track, or at least prevented it from going too far off track.

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This document is the property of InertiCorp Holdings, LLC. Unauthorized distribution will be handled by Legal. They're very good at handling things.

Good luck. You'll need it.

— The Board